Godzilla Equals Disappointment

Another quick movie review while I’m here.

Ok, I watched the new version of Godzilla on blu ray. It was not high on my want-to-see list but I thought I’d give it a go.

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I was disappointed to be honest. Here’s a quick summary of the plot:

Basically there’s Godzilla and then there’s two weird looking things that aren’t Godzilla. All are too powerful for humans to fight so the token Japanese scientist says leave them to fight each other. So the only thing for the humans to do is try to defuse the nuclear bomb they started ticking.

That actually is the plot right there.

Ok, so at least I can watch the destruction as the monsters fight?

Actually no, because the majority of the monsters fighting or monsters destroying cities either (a) happens offscreen or (b) is fought at night with the lights out.

So you either see (a) some “aftermath” shots of Las Vegas destroyed for example or (b) you just see murky outlines of cgi creatures in cgi smoke head-butting or whatever.

And then Godzilla beats the weird looking things by firing bad breath at them. Seriously. I am not making that up. Godzilla has atomic-powered bad breath.

The one good bit was the Halo jump which was used in the first trailer. It had the spooky music that Kubrick used for 2001. It provided a much needed sequence that was atmospheric and cinematic. The rest of the movie was very “meh” in comparison. It almost makes me think that sequence was directed and edited by a different production team.

You know, I’ve not mentioned the cast. There’s no point as they don’t actually do anything. Nothing they do makes a damn bit of difference to the story.

It’s not a terrible movie. It’s just very boring. And dark. I don’t mean thematically dark either, I mean dark in the visual sense. Did I mention they turned the lights out?